You want to go straight back to being friends, but I can’t do that. I was the one who screwed everything up but it doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.
He left you and you think it was because you are not the definition
of his standards.
They stared at you in the street and you thought it was because they saw fire walking by or someone from another dimension. His departure bruised the
beautiful perspective you once had of yourself.
Spoiler alert: BRUISES HEAL.
This doesn’t have to do with him or the people who make you feel like your bones are erupting volcanos.
Spoiler alert: VOLCANOS STOP ERUPTING.
This has to do with you because you’ve allowed yourself to be devoured
by a jail cell of standards.
No one is going to obstruct the self hatred you’ve developed.
Self hatred is not a scar it’s a wound you can cure if you stop letting your bad thoughts thrive because of other peoples actions.
The other day I found you in your room with a blade. You told me you threw them out four months ago.
I should’ve read your lie through the long sleeve shirt you wore in an 84
I asked you “why why why?” With a combination of perplexity and melancholy in my eyes.
Then… this tornado of words that was stuck inside your lungs fled out.
“If I rip my skin it’ll grow back…..
new skin. Maybe then I’ll be beautiful,
I’ll be the definition of his standards,
and he’ll come back.”
Spoiler alert: I am here I can replace that stupid blade. I’ll heal you with
my presence. His departure does not define your beauty. Please stop. I hope one day you realize that you can grab my soul instead because although I’m not a firm believer in other people helping you with unwholesome thoughts…. But I’ll try my best… and my soul will help heal those false thoughts.
written by Alexa Evangelista | Dear _________ (via vodkakilledtheteens)
I hate myself for agreeing to go to the gym this early.
written by Alexa Evangelista (via vodkakilledtheteens)
I feel everything.
I don’t know which is worse.
written by 2 am thoughts (via brokenboob)
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.
written by How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon (via 1811181)
Holy fucking shit(via br0kenn-angel)
Just re downloaded the tumblr app and I must say, big improvement!
I want another chance but I have no more chances left